Values or Life Style?

What has a more positive impact on a relationship long-term, being like-minded or like-lifestyled? To examine this comparison, we must first start with a working definition of both. Lifestyle is based upon how a person lives. This can be as general as country, region, state, city, or small city. Each style has its own cultural norms, which determine what is valuable in those areas. For example, within a suburban lifestyle, dress code is often quite significant. The collared shirt polo was a staple, and at one time the flipped-up collar denoted extra coolness.

The one thing that I find similar in all lifestyles, regardless of location or group, is the discussion of relationships: who got married, who was pregnant, who was unfaithful and with whom. Or, which woman was being ostracized for looking physically attractive and which man was being lambasted for his sense of “entitlement” because he was high on the relative wealth scale.

Like-minded is more about values and perspective. This goes past the” where you want to live” or “how do you live”. Is faithfulness about conviction, obligation, value, or diminished opportunity? Is money handled based upon your personal value of money or is it handled upon how much a person should be making to finance a particular lifestyle? While upbringing may shape our lifestyle expectations, like-mindedness is a universal that goes beyond how we live to who we are.

So which is going to play a bigger role long-term? Circumstances in life often shift outside of our control and in unexpected ways. When two people are like-minded based upon their values, they are more likely to stay on one accord. Like-minded allows for more personal preference and growth than like-lifestlyed. Being like-minded reflects the core values of each individual and it will likely have a greater, more positive impact on a relationship long-term. Determining what your values are and those of your partner instead of what their hobbies are and their favorite coffee is a much better first date conversation.