Can men love a relationship to death?

Love; it is still one of the most powerful things in a relationship.  I don’t know when it shifted but it has.  What men are choosing to love is damaging their relationships like never before.  It used to seem like it was their jobs.  Allowing it to take so much time it didn’t allow enough time and energy to properly connect with their wives.  Some have even said it’s their dog considering it is supposed to be their best friend.  It is probably even true in some cases.  Like taking care of the leaves of the plant and wondering why the plant dies men stopped loving who she is at her core and started to love the woman’s feelings instead. 

When the woman has negative feelings about a problem, the men try to fix the feeling which is one of the top complaints I hear.  When women share something the feel about life the men try to address that too.  On the surface it doesn’t sound so bad.  However, what both people may not realize is when the man chooses to make the woman feel good over love her as a person they both begin and endless chase worse than man’s best friend and its tale.

A woman’s feelings can change and shift throughout life.  What they used to feel about one thing can change dramatically with experience, perspective, or even frequency.  A rose on a first date can elicit wonderful feelings.  A rose every date will not likely get the same response 6 months later.  In fact, it might even create a negative feeling.  After a while the woman can disconnect to her feelings and not feel genuinely loved.  As much as many women say they want to feel good, they most often want to be just loved for who they are.  

Loving the person allows a man to get to know who she is therefore what creates her feelings.  Over a time while a woman wants to feel good, she wants to be loved and cherished.  Loving her requires  a man to know her well enough to be able to hold her accountable when she is in error, encourage her when she is struggling, and congratulate her when she over comes a significant hurdle.  Paying attention to how she feels about those things is important but who she is the connection she needs to grow and feel cherished.

When the man is following her feelings she will be less likely to follow him. Loving her requires taking care of her at her core and allowing her to bloom.  So instead, try showing her you love her more than her feelings because she is MORE than her feelings.

Why Nice Guys Finish Last

The real reason nice guys finish last is women are attracted to men.  There is a chemical response within women that connect to masculinity.  Women have always and will always respond to masculinity.  So why is this so important? Even though women often say they want a nicer guy, women do not consider nice guys very masculine. 

For many men it is mixed message.  The traits of “manly men” are not those associated with care, kindness, gentleness, respect, and honor.  They are traits highly desired in “manly men”.  The brand of manliness is consistent with behavior that does not place women in their priority list outside of sex, financial provision, and protection. 

The traits associated with nice guys are far more feminine.  Sweet, nice, patient, forgiving, accommodating are all traits we would describe women as more than men.  The association is often what creates the attraction.  Money, cars, power, are associated with desire and thus create more desire.  Weakness and feelings are not associated with masculine tendencies.  Also, people want their expectations to be filled even if their expectations are bad or inaccurate.  When a woman believes all men are liars, unfaithful, and bad, then they will reject men who don’t fit their standards of what makes a man.  The nice guy is never seen a man to her.

The expectations of men have become so low and anti-women that men who choose to be nice are no longer seen as attractive.  So if you are a woman, teach yourself what it really means to be a man and you will find yourself more attracted to the nice guy.  After all, it is much easier to bring out the bad boy in a nice guy than the nice guy out of the bad boy.