Act like you have been there before

Have you ever seen a football player score a touchdown and celebrate like it’s the first one he's ever done? He screams, yells points to the crowd, and keeps the ball. When the TV camera is on him he says “Hi MOM”. What about when they do that after their 23rd time? It almost looks strange and definitely over done. The NFL now penalizes a person for taking things too far after a touchdown under the “excessive celebration” rule. Interestingly enough it used to be called “unsportsmanlike”.

This is what it looks like for people who are surprised by healthy relationships. The woman who has a door held open on a date and then texts her friends "you won’t believe what just happened" and thanks him for the rest of the night. Or the guy who sits and just stares at the woman who offers to pay for dinner in sheer amazement.

These are basic actions often found in a healthy relationship. Yet when met with astonished celebration, will look strange to the person who IS healthy. If you are so utterly impressed and amazed by a person who apologies, says thank you, or doesn't yell at you when an error has been made; act like you have been there before. In the NFL it will cost you 15 yards for excessive celebration but in relationships it could cost you a little bit more. After all, healthy people want their actions to honored and appreciated not met in sheer astonishment.

Are you prepared for a healthy relationship?

Most people claim a desire for a healthy fulfilling relationship. From the person who has never experienced a healthy relationship to the person currently in an unhealthy relationship that was once healthy. The easiest conceivable solution is to have a healthy partner. One who will treat us in a way that makes it so easy to be healthy that loving them fully is the most natural response. However, if we do not know how to build, restore, and enhance what is healthy, even the fictitious perfect partner is not enough.

If you have only been in unhealthy you have learned how to respond and endure it. Healthy requires a different skill set. Healthy requires more trust than protection. Not because you are guaranteed your partner will never do something hurtful, because you trust in your partner’s intent for good. Healthy requires boundaries and accountability designed to build the relationship and not for control and punishment. And Healthy is not about finding a mate who knows how to handle your insecurities, but about a person moving past them to promote internal healthy to their partner.

It’s about responding to healthy love as a way of life and not like you hit the relationship lottery. To respond with honor gratitude and respect because of how much you value them, not because it’s a miracle that must be protected and held on to.

Remember preparing yourself for healthy love is your responsibility not your mates.

Picture compliments of http://www.flickr.com/photos/dappers/98050992/