He SHOULD know but he Doesn't

Many women desire a man that leads in actions that will be pleasing to them without having to tell him first.  It shows many of the things that means something to them.  For starters it shows initiative which is a major desire.    It eliminates the doubt that they are only doing it because they were asked.  By not having to tell him they know he is thinking about them and taking action with the thought.  Many women, even the ones who like to be in control, don’t want the guy to only follow orders when giving them things they desire.  It’s a more personalized experience for the woman because it shows the guy has been paying attention to them enough to get it right.  That good old fashion “he knows me “feeling. 

Often, men want to conquer, lead, hunt, but more than that men want to be successful.  When they don’t know what will work their humanness sets in.  They have already been told by society they don’t know any better and without a good woman they are lost.  It doesn’t take many times to get it wrong to wait for direction.  After all, some are waiting to know what they are supposed to wear in the morning so waiting for direction to love is not a big leap.  It also doesn’t take long to become dependent on the woman for decisions they have complete ownership in.  

They are looking for leading information and without that they are forced to guess.  It won’t take long before they are conditioned not initiating. A crippling fear can set in and avoiding getting it wrong takes over.  The guys mindset isn't how do I show my love but what will she like, and most important what won’t get me into trouble.  If you want confirmation ask men why they go with the safe route of chocolate, candy, and flowers almost every Valentine’s day.

You know if you have read my blog before, I write about Ownership.  For this one, like most things both people can make an impact in eliminating this issue.  Men, it is your ownership to show your love in a manner that has the biggest impact.  Ask more questions!  When she responds positively to something you do, ask what it that she likes most about it is.  Ask what it means to her.  Not all women will tell you so it’s best to ask.  It sure beats guessing.

Ladies, let your man know what you connected to when they do something good.  Don’t just say “wow thanks for the flowers”. Try “thanks for the flowers, I appreciate surprises”.  Show him the core value you connected to and it will give him a chance to love you in the ways you like that he feels comfortable.